A pine tree diverges in a wood
by du911
Summary: Gravity Falls x Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. read this if you dare!
1. Chapter 1

A pine tree diverges in a wood. Chapter 1

I own nothing!

How could you do this to me Lilly!? Shouted the irate man. Lilly flustered, "hey now come on, you lied

about your identity when we first met". Pointed out Lilly quickly. But the man wasn't deterred, "true,

but my lie didn't make you a felon in 49 states"! Lilly tried again, it's was just a few small years I added

to my age- Those small years you left out will cost me everything! The man takes a deep breath to calm

himself, then he began again. Look, I was in a bad place for a long time...but now I've only recently

pulled myself together, I have a great career in front of me where I can really help people...I just can't

deal with this now...I think...I think I should go.

The girl wanted to say more, beg, plead, anything to prevent the man she loved from leaving.

But she knew she'd messed up, her lie had ruined everything. So instead she just sat there silently as the

best thing that ever happened to her walked out her life forever.

All alone, she subcouciously put her hands to her stomache.

_Should I have told him? _She thought to herself in hushed whisper. _No, _she asserted. _He's a great man, _

_who will move on to do greater things...I won't let my mistake ruin that...I might need him...but the _

_world needs him more..._

And without another thought, Lilly pines reached out and closed the still open door.

12 YEARS LATER...

A car crash?! Shouted an irate Stanford pines. He'd driven all night to get here in time for the

funeral. The Attorney rolled his eyes with disgust, some idiot was texting and driving...need I

say more?

Yeah you can tell me where the moron is so I can the beat him from here to Timbuktu! The

attorney gave a small sad smile, the moron in question also died in the crash...so make of that

what you will. Stanford breathed in and out to steady himself...and the kids are really my

responsibility now? That's what the will indicates...among other things. While were on the

subject where are the kids now? Stan groaned at the realization of how messed up the situation

was. Lilly sent them to my place for the summer, I got the news the day before they were

supposed to show up. I asked my assistant Soos to stay behind to greet them. So they know

nothing? No-no they don't...aw geez, I'm gonna have to tell them aren't I? Oh, that's gonna be a

real hoot...

LATTER...

Hours after everyone else had left the cemetery, a lone man stands before the tombstone of one of the most amazing woman he'd ever met. "Dang it, Lilly...why didn't you tell me? Had you told me, I would have stayed...career be frakked I would have helped"! The man let out a small chuckle..."figures, I finally get my life back on track after almost dying"...and then you throw a major bombshell into it. That was always you Lilly, Just one roller coaster after another...course that's what I loved about you the most...

Taking the time to brush a lone tear out of his eye, he puts a bundle of roses on the grave, and silently walks away.

As he walks he talks into his com. Link. Sky? Yes sir? I need a background check on a guy named Stan pines. Also tell May to have the bus prepped and ready to go in 5...were going to gravity falls. Said Phil Coulson as he walked to his waiting S.H.I.E.L.D. Plane.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I Own nothing!

There dipper pines stood...between his sister and an unholy conglomerate of unstoppable gnomes.

Outnumbered, outgunned, nowhere left to run. But dipper was determined to protect mabel to the bitter

end.

Jeff, the king of the gnomes smirked at both his soon to be vanquished nemesis and his soon to be

queen/slave.

Give it up boy! Your done for! We gnomes are relentless, all-powerful, handsome, invinc-

whatever he was about to say was lost over him exploding into bloody chunks.

Dipper, mable and the rest of the gnomes had barely time to process this before group by group, the

gnomes were ripped apart by a seemingly invisible force.

After what felt like an eternity, all the gnomes were nothing but soupy chunks splashed over mable and

dipper...who both promptly began to vomit.

Meanwhile on the bus...

Oh...maybe we overdid it? Said fitz as he watched through the predator drones vision as the twins

"handled" the situation.

Coulson sighed, "they're alive, that's all that matters." The question now was...what now? He'd looked

through this "stan pine's" dossier, and everything pointed to him being an oblivious, neglectful,

(possibly senile) shyster. And seemed to be the last person you'd want within a 10 mile radius of a

child, never mind as a legal guardian! It didn't help matter's that embedded within the data concerning

"gravity falls" in the S.H.I.E.L.D database was a level 10 file that was sealed by nick fury himself. And

it **REALLY **didn't help matters when he sent those predator drones ahead to do surveillance and the

first images they sent back was the kids being chased by a bunch of psychotic little men. No, if he were

to take these kids away right now he doubt anyone would judge him...but what then? What was he

supposed to do? Walk up to them and shout. "hey kids, I'm your daddy! Your momma's roadkill, and

I'm a secret agent man!" and even if that wasn't an issue(and he'd bet dollars to diamonds it would be),

what would he do with them? He checked around, aside from himself stan was their only other living

family, and he really didn't want to make them endure the child services system...so where did that

leave him? Keep them on the bus? That was probably even more dangerous then leaving them there!

Suddenly fitz was talking again. Uh, sir something else is happening...

phil looked over and saw that someone (wendy, was it?) had finally noticed what had happened and had

alerted stan. Who was now cleaning them up and comforting them. Even giving them free stuff like a

new hat for dipper and mable...got a grappling hook? _Yep, _thought phil. _She is definitely Lilly's _

_daughter._ Still, phil was impressed by how stan was handling this. _Huh, maybe I was wrong about him. _

_Maybe, leaving them with him wouldn't be so- and now he's selling gnome chunks by the bucketful._

Phil rubbed his head with iritation...okay, he'd leave things as they were for now...but he'd keep

monitoring the situation.

Having decided that, Phil brought up the image of dipper shielding his sister. _Only 12 years old, _

_outnumbered, outgunned, and still completely willing to lay his life down for his sister...so this is what _

_parental pride feels like?...it's great! I've never felt bett-_

Whoa! Shouted fitz, that boy just saved that wendy girl from being crushed by that giant S!...and is

now getting a nice peck on the check as a reward. Dang, that kid is on fire!

_Oh, I guess I spoke too soon. _Thought phil as his pride managed to escalate higher.

_Maybe one day...I'll be able to tell you how proud you've made me. _Thought Phil wishfully.


	3. Chapter 3

A pine tree diverges in a wood. ch. 3

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos could only watch in both amazement and horror as the Gobbelwonker they'd

seconds ago were running in terror from...was now being ripped to pieces by a hail of bullets and

missiles descending from a large black plane.

UNCLE! UNCLE! I GIVE! I'LL TURN IN MY RUTABAGAS! YAH LOUSY BULLFROGS!

Surprisingly shouted the gobbelwonker as it suddenly sprouted a mechanical arm that was waving a

white flag.

Wait- wha- spoke a befuddled dipper.

COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP! OR WE WILL CONTINUE FIRING!

Bellowed the planes speakers.

I'm out! I'm out pleaded old man Magucket as he jumped out of the cockpit of the now revealed fake

Gobelwonker.

Dipper would be disappointed by this revelation if he wasn't so busy watching in awe as the plane

landed and multiple people started to pour out and secure the area. One person who seemed to be in

charge immediately ran over to them.

Are you kids alright?! Shouted the clearly distressed man. Are either of you injured!? Do you need

medical assistance!?

Whoa- whoa- were fine! Shouted the startled dipper.

Good...okay...good...

The man just then just stood there...staring at them.

Dipper then nervously coughed, uh...and you are?

Wha- oh, right! The names Phil Coulson, agent of shield.

Dippers eye's widened, oh my god! Agents of shield! You guys are agents of shield!

Agents of who? Asked a confused mabel.

Dipper gave mabel a weird look.

Come on, mabel. Agents of shield!

Mabel just stared at him blankly.

The world-wide government agency that handles all supernatural, meta-human, or extraterrestrial

matters.

Mabel continued staring at him blankly.

Who went public after the battle of New York?

uh...battle?

Dipper glared at her in disbelief.

Are you seriously- the battle of new york! The battle between the avengers and the alien Chitauri?

Uh...

The battle that leveled half of new york?

Um...

That was all over the news and internet for months after wards?

well...

School's all across the country were closed for weeks, your seriously telling me you don't remember

that?

I remember not being in school...kinda...

Dipper rubbed his forehead in frustration.

Unbelievable...

Oh! dose what your saying have anything to do with that cute blonde armored beef-cake with the weird

hammer?

It took all of dippers strength not to face-fault.

Yes, that would be Thor. From Norse mythology, who we now know is an alien.

OOOOOOO! Squealed mabel peversly, momma likes even more!

_Okay, note to self: keep mabel away from Thor._ Thought phil to himself.

Seriously though, this is great! Shouted dipper.

There's something really weird going on in this town!

And I think it has something to do with this book! Said dipper as he showed his book.

Book? Queried phil, as he was handed it.

Yeah, I found it in a secret compartment in a hollowed out tree in the middle of the woods!

-Of course you did. Said phil absentmindedly as he ruffled through the pages.

-_Great, yet another "__Great Big Book of Everything"...like the world didn't have enough of those lying _

_around._

Meanwhile, dipper continued to babble. So I'm thinking we should do a full on investigation here. Full

analysis. Full forensics. Full everything. And then send it to the lab- wait, is that how you say

that..."send it to the lab?"

Right, sure, we'll do all that. Said phil as he handed it to simmons. Okay, simmons standard G.B.B.E.

Protocol.

Simmons rolled her eyes, another one?

Fraid so-

Wait, "another one". What do you mean? Asked dipper.

Yeah, hate to tell you kid but your not first kid to find some weird book of strange wisdom...shield has

a whole warehouse full of them.

And while were on the subject, can I just ask why a clearly smart kid like yourself just made such a big

mistake.

Mistake? What are you-

come on dipper you read plenty of books. What always happens when the main character shows off his

macguffin, to some mysterious stranger who just entered their lives?

Dippers eye's widened in shock, your gonna take it from me aren't you? Said a very resigned, dejected

dipper.

Phil let out a sigh. Look, I'll make you a deal. After we analyze it, if it's just technically an ordinary

book. By which I mean it's not sentient, not magical, has no unknown tech embedded in it. I will give it

back to you. Dipper beamed.

But that's not what I want to talk about.

I mean first that thing with mabel and norman, now this-

wait, how'd you know about nor- Dippers eye's widened. Wait were you guys the one's who dealt with

the gnomes?

Phil smiled. Like I said your a smart kid. While dipper tried to hide his blush, Phil carried on

Yeah, we had a couple of predator drones in the are, saw your predicament, and we acted...sorry about

the mess by the way.

No, no, it's cool, thanks, you really saved us there.

Your welcome, said phil with a smile.

But seriously though, Mabel you went alone into the middle of the woods with an older guy you barely

knew?

Mable suddenly looked very shamefaced.

Well, sure, when you say it like that-

How would you be able to say that well? Asked dipper skeptically.

Mabel then decided to go to Sweater town.

Phil just shook his head. Seriously, what are they teaching you kids in schools these days?

Look, just take these. He then handed them a couple of com-links. You two get into any trouble, or your

not sure about something, or have a question, or whatever. You call me with these. Night or day, there

programed to immediately reach me no matter where you are.

Both kids nod as they put them on their wrists.

Okay, your boat seems jaked-up, would you like a lift back?

He was barely half-way through his sentence before the pines twins and soos were running up the

ramp.

LATTER

Back on land phil confronted Ranger mcgucket about his dad's actions. He then confessed he'd been

well aware of what he'd been doing but didn't let on because he couldn't stand to see what his father'd

become, didn't want to encourage his behavior, but most of all every time he'd tried to turn him in the

police would never take him seriously and mock him.

Confused by this, phil and his team went to find said policemen...not only did they not have to look far

but there opinion of them(as well as the hope that the human race is not doomed as a species) went

down several notches.

They could only stand there in stunned silence as they watched sheriff blubs(who somehow locked

himself inside his squad car) get further hopelessly tangled up in his seat belt. While deputy Durland

tried to get him out...by shoving beavers into the gas tank.

-the sad thing is, their actually the smartest cops on the force. Said ranger mcgucket as he shook his

head in disgust.

Please tell me your joking, said phil in a quiet pleading voice.

Mcgucket snorted, I wish. Bad as these jokers are, at least they can leave the station.

The others can never grasp the whole push/pull concept, and can't even get out the door!

Riiiiight, mused phil more to himself then anyone there.

He quickly turned to his team.

Right, fitz and simmons. I want you to do every type of test possible on the environment or anything

else you think might be the cause of this...Phil struggled to find the right word. -stupidity. There's no

way this is natural...at least...I hope it isn't...

Shaking his head he continued.

You! He shouted at old man mcgucket, your going to a sheild psych-ward.

Well, Donkey-spittle said mcgucket with a depressed sigh.

Ward! May! Please help them, this is just embarrassing both to them and the human race as a whole.

Grudgingly, they both went to rescue the idiots.

You two! Shouted phil at the pines twins.

What are you doing tomorrow!? Demanded phil.

Well- we were-

Not anymore your not.

Tomorrow your getting guns, your getting permits, your getting gun training, and any other weapon or

form of self defense you think would be best.

Wha- GUNS!? Cried dipper in shock.

Isn't that dangerous!?

Phil handed dipper back his journal while deliberatley flipping through it to show him all the most

dangerous creatures.

More dangerous then facing any of these with no way to defend youself or competent police to save

you?

Dipper paled, so tomorrow you say?

Good lad! Shouted phil as he patted his head, causing dipper's last camera to fall out of his hat.

What's that? Asked phil as dipper picked it up.

Dipper suddenly felt embarrassed. Well...your probably going to think this is silly but I bought multiple

disposable cameras-

-To protect against the inevitable first camera getting ruined, finished Phil.

That's not silly, that's just common sense. You really are are smart kid.

Dipper felt really flustered.

Yeah, well apparently not smart enough to know a fake monster when I see it.

Said dipper as he tossed the camera into the lake...right into the jaws of the real gobelwonker.

-Or smart enough to hold enough to hold onto his last camera, said dipper dejectedly.

Phil frowned, then to simmons.

Simmons are your analysis drones still active?

Yes, sir.

Any chance they got a picture of that?

Simmons smiled, a picture, full bio-scan, and all the other data you need to prove a cryptids existence.

Good, copy it, and give it to dipper.

Dipper's eye's lit up. Really?

After all you'd been through? As long as you promise to split the 1000$ with your sister it's all yours.

Wow! Thanks! shouted an ecstatic dipper.

-Consider it a late- early birthday present. Amended phil quickly.

Meanwhile...

A mile away in a tree four people were hopelessly stuck to it.

How did this even happen!? Demanded ward. Actually, forget that, how is this even possible!?

I said I was sorry! pleaded durland.

No, don't speak. Insisted may, I can't guarantee your safety otherwise.

Really? Blubbered blubs, what's the danger?

Us, replied ward flatly.

**AN: HAPPY LATE NEW YEAR!**


	4. Chapter 4

A pine tree diverges in a wood ch.4

I REGRET AND OWN NOTHING!

I can't believe it's been over 5 hours and were still cleaning this mess up! Snapped an annoyed Mabel.

Mabel, Wendy, and soos had been at it all morning, cleaning up the shack after those waxed freaks messed it up!

Thankfully, it hadn't been that bad of a fight. Thanks to dipper inviting Wendy along to

the shooting range agent coulson booked for them. Wendy along with mabel and dipper

were all now fully licensed, armed to the teeth, gun owners!

They'd ripped through those creeps like Swiss cheese, suffering almost no casualties...

Are you guys sure you don't want me to help? Asked dipper as he sat on the recliner nursing his arm-sling.

Wendy shook her head. Dude you took Lizzie Bordon's ax for me!

That's like the second time you've saved my life these past two weeks! You've earned a break!

O-okay, if you say so. Said a reluctant dipper as he turned on the T.V. Where a

commercial of a certain psychic was playing...

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

**AN: not that long I know, but this is a deconstruction fic. Inspired by one of my favorite authors PSYKOTIC ADDICTION (who can be found on my favorites) Hope you end your hiatus soon buddy! Your fans are eager and waiting!**

**P.S. could someone contact the deviant artist Markmak or show me how to contact him? I'd like to talk to him, but the computer won't let me comment on deviantart.**

**And please review!...life has no meaning otherwise...**


	5. Chapter 5

A pine tree diverges in a wood ch.5

I REGRET AND OWN NOTHING!

…...

Liar! Screamed Gideon, "you turned her against me!" Gideon leered at

dipper and fantasized of that arm sling turning into a body bag. And now

I'm going to rip apart that lying tongue and your body. Said Gideon as

he called upon the power of his amulet to throw hundreds of swords at

him...that passed through his body harmlessly...

Gideon watched in amazement as "dipper" faded into static. Wha?-

And then the door burst open! "Gideon Gleeful! We are with shield! Your

under arrest for attempted murder! Put the amulet down and your hands

up!" Shouted Phil as he and the others pointed their guns at him.

Gideon paled, "now hold on gentleman...if you'll just contact the local

law and magistrate I'm sure we can get this all sorted"-

Phil snorted, "yeah no dice. Attempted murder is a federal crime, and

you'll be taken before a federal judge."

Gideon grew even paler. The local law enforcement was either too stupid,

too enamored, or too in his pocket for him to ever worry about suffering

any consequences for his actions...But a competent judge outside gravity falls...

"No! You won't take me!"shouted Gideon as he called upon the power of the amulet to levitate.

"This is your last warning", stated Phil. "HA! YAH'LL ARE NOTHING BUT

ANTS! I'M LIKE A GOD! YOU WILL TREMBLE- BANG! GAAH!" screamed

Gideon as the shards of his amulet pierced his flesh. GAAH! ARRGH! YOU

SHOOT ME! YOU ACTUALLY SHOT ME! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH

YOU?! WHO SHOOTS A CHILD!? YOUR ALL INSANE!

The instant he went down the team immediately swarmed and shackled

him. "Search him! Insisted Phil, I don't want anymore surprises."

"Wow, said an impressed Sky. That was a great shot may, but how'd you

know that shooting the amulet would only destroy it and not also kill him?

-I didn't, stated may flatly...

…...

A couple minutes later outside the warehouse Gideon was being led

away. "Thanks for calling us dipper." said Phil. Dipper flushed at the

compliment. "When Toby called, I almost went. But then I remembered

what you told us, and I called you instead." Phil smiled, "that was some

smart thinking." Dipper smiled...so is Gideon gone for good? Phil

chuckled, kid we got him cold. Between the recording of him trying to kill

"you" and him resisting arrest...you won't be seeing him for a long time.

THE NEXT DAY...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO LET HIM GO!? Phil shouted at nick fury...

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

…...

**Ah, the dreaded cliff hanger! Maybe some reviews would stop a repeat?(hint)(hint) **

**P.S. could someone contact the deviant artist Markmak or show me how to contact him? I'd like to talk to him, but the computer won't let me comment on deviantart.**

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**


	6. Chapter 6

A pine tree diverges in a wood ch. 6

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO LET HIM GO!? Shouted an irritated Phil

at Nick Fury. Fury sighed. "Hey, I'm not happy about letting that little

sociopath go either...But those were the demands of our informant"-

"Informant? Asked Phil. Dose this have anything to do with that level 10 file?

Fury groaned as he rubbed his face in irritation. "Honestly, Phil. Of all the

little town's with a dark secret. In all the hundreds of middle's of nowhere in

America...Why did your kids have to end up in this one?" "Phil sighed, so you

know then?" "Don't worry, only I and a couple of trusted agents know about

their true identity." Assured Fury. He then starts to shuffle through the

documents..."In fact this town is # 5 on our "towns with a dark secret" watch-

list-" #5? asked Phil. "Yeah, I wouldn't recommend Silent hill, Lakeside, Dras-leona, or Hinamizawa for a vacation spot. Said Fury Dryly. He then twined his

fingers together. "Look Phil, I'm going to get right to the point. We have

confirmed a sleeping HYDRA cell hiding somewhere in gravity Falls; but more

importantly we have reason to believe that Kronin might be in charge of it"-

"Kronin?!" Exclaimed Phil. "As in Kronin the cruel? As in Kronin the

invincible? As in Kronin the leader of the Thule society? As in kronin the right

hand man of the red skull? The kronin who was in charge of Hydra operations

in America? The Kronin who successfully stole the statue of liberty in broad

day light, then let it be rescued because he'd infused it with an eldritch horror

that managed to level half of new york before the Captain stopped it? The

Kronin who masterminded the Pearl harbor attack as a diversion so he could

broker a deal with a volcano deity that left every last man, woman and child

on Hawai dead; and nearly caused a controlled eruption of the super-volcano

under yellow stone?! The man who switched president Roosevelt with a golem

and nearly blew "The Manhattan project" to kingdom come!? That Kronin?!

Fury sighed again. Before his final confrontation with the captain, the red

skull sent a coded message to Kronin to go underground and work on "plan B".

We were able to trace it to north America...but the trail went cold...at least

until 30 years ago when a strange energy source that was on the same level of

power as the tesseract came from some where around the area of gravity falls...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED

**AN: Yep, this is now a hellboy crossover...not going to lie to you Gideon is slowly going to be phased out...Let's face it, in the marvel universe (or real life) he'd be more of a joke than an actual threat...Bill Cipher will remain(he's awesome!)...but his limitations prevent him from being the constant antagonistic force I need...as for the back story...hey it's my story i'll make up whatever junk I find entertaining. Have a nice day! **

**Also could someone contact the deviant artist Markmak or show me how to contact him? I'd like to talk to him, but the computer won't let me comment on my deviantart account.**

**Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

**I CAME, I SAW, I CONQUERED! (please review if you agree)**


	7. Chapter 7

A pine tree diverges in a wood ch. 7

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

_All your life they've let you know-_

_How far you could not go!_

_Who are you to change this world!? Shouted a teacher_

_Silly Boy! Chastised a guidance councilor_

_No one needs to hear your words! Mocked a bully_

_Let it go...Stated a local policeman_

…_..._

Dipper gasped as he abruptly woke up. He groaned. Typical. The first time in

days he was able not think about Wendy and go to sleep- So of course he had a

nightmare! All those things that were said...what those people had actually

said wasn't as harsh as his dream depicts it (except the bully)...Although they

might as well have said it like that... Dipper shook his head. He needed to get

some sleep...Wendy had invited him to a teenage night on the town...that'll get his mind off things!

…...

Wendy was wandering around the aisles of the "dawn 2 dusk" store- When she

saw dipper hunched over something. Feeling mischievous she hide close by

and ready to ponce on him. She was about to do just that when she heard this.

-"I know this is going to sound paranoid...but I think this store is haunted."

This surprised Wendy. Even more surprising was the voice of phil Coulson

apparently came out of nowhere. "Dipper, you live in a town full of monsters,

mad scientists, and homicidal psychics. You have every right to be paranoid!"

Now in another universe. Wendy would've been skeptical about anything weird

happening in her life, perhaps even hesitant to take dippers side...this wasn't

that universe. While Wendy contemplated this revelation; phil and dipper continued talking...

…...

"So you'll come check it out!?" Asked a grateful dipper. Through the com-link

Phil voice came through. "Yeah, but it'll take a couple of hours. Best you get

everyone out quickly"- "Wait, what?!" Exclaimed dipper. "Get everyone out of

the building. repeated Phil. Why, is there a problem?" Dipper suddenly felt

very uncomfortable. Well... is there any way we could just...I don't

know...do this quietly? There was brief pause on the com-link. "Dipper do

you. Or do you not believe that the store your in is haunted?" Asked Phil

calmly. "Well...yes, yes I do- But-" Then no, we can't do this quietly". Said Phil

flatly. "Oh...okay, cool...makes sense...any way you could get them to

evacuate instead of me?" There was another pause on the com-link. "dipper

what's going on?" Dipper let out a deep sigh. "Look...it's just...the people

here...they like me...they think I'm cool...and I"- DIPPER! Shouted Phil

suddenly. "Do you want Mabel to die?!" "Wha?! No!" Shouted dipper. Do you

want Wendy to die!? No! Do you want anyone else there to die?! No!

Really? Countered phil. "Because it sounds to me like your saying you care

more about your popularity then the lives of your loved one's!" "Wha- No!

That's not what I meant!" Pleaded a now sobbing dipper. "How else am I

supposed to take this dipper!?" Shouted Phil. Anger, disappointment, and

shame clearly evident in his voice. "How else am I suppose to take this stupid,

selfish"- I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO LIKE ME! Shouted dipper. All was

silent..."Dipper...what are you talking about?" While still sobbing dipper

explained everything. How all his life he'd been the freak, the loser, the

outcast, the weirdo. How he was treated poorly by everyone: schoolmates,

townsfolk, teachers, local police, everyone. How his mom did everything she

could to help him...going above and beyond being a mom...Even going as far

as uprooting and moving several dozen times just for him...but at the end of

the day, she just didn't know what to do with him, how to help him...she just

didn't know...she always got along better with mabel. And most

importantly...how at 5 years old...when he first asked "where's my

dad?"...and his mom told him how he was "off fulfilling a greater

destiny"...he hadn't bought that at all...Dipper explained that at the age of

five he knew what she really meant was that his dad didn't love him, didn't

want him, and he wasn't worth the effort...and how lately...dipper was starting to think he might be right...

After he finished...there was silence. M-mr. Coulson? Asked a timid Dipper. Are you still there?

…...

_I could have just walked up and talked to him like a sane person- But, No! I _

_had to be "weird" about it...good job Wendy, good thinking. _Thought Wendy

as she desperately tried to be unnoticeable in her hiding spot. As she

frantically thought of how to get out of this awkward situation...

…...

Phil's team were having similar thoughts. As they watched their leader

suddenly look every year of his age and then some. Uh...sir? You okay? Asked a

concerned Sky. Without turning around, Phil began to speak. "I don't care

what you have to do- What laws you have to break- If it means a crash landing,

then so be it! But someone get this plane to gravity falls now!" Not needing to

be told twice, everyone left. Phil steeled himself as he began to talk...

…...

"Okay dipper...listen to me...all of those "cool" and "normal" people that

picked on you...did they successfully come to the conclusion that "ancient

gods" were actually aliens using advanced technology years before Shield even

meet Thor?" Dipper blushed. "Well, no...that was me." "And did they

successfully crack the Roswell crop circle code using a laptop...The same code

that took shield thousands of dollars worth of equipment to figure out?"

Dipper again blushed. "I don't really know if discovering an unsuccessful alien

AD campaign counts as impor"- "And finally, did they figure out that "the ten

rings" terrorist organization was being destroyed by tony stark in a mech-suite

one month before he revealed it himself?" Dipper was very flustered now.

"Again...no...also me." Huh. Scoffed Phil. "Got to say, "normal" is starting to

sound pretty boring...and "weird" is sounding more interesting by the

second...which would you rather be?" Dipper sighed, "That's all well and

good...but it doesn't answer my question...Am I worth it...is my life worth

it?...if I disappeared today would anyone care?" And that's when he was grabbed from behind...

5 seconds ago...

_Screw it, dipper needs me..._

…...

Dipper looked in amazement as Wendy hugged him. W-wendy? Wendy gave

him a very serious look. "I'd miss you dipper-" Dipper blushed. "Wait, you

heard all"- -"Yes, sorry. I shouldn't have but I did. But that's not the point!

The point is dipper- You've saved my life twice! And far as I know you've saved

mabel's life once! Maybe more for all I know! Don't you think she'd miss you

too?" "And I'd miss you as well." Finished phil. I'm grateful to have met

you...and frankly I'd like to think my life's been better for it...

Dipper didn't know what to think- he was so overcome with so many

conflicting emotions...he didn't know what to do...so he just hugged her

back and cried...and then they heard other people crying.

"T-that was so beautiful." Sobbed Ma ghost as she and Pa ghost watched on...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED

**AN: YEAH, so major deconstruction of dippers "skewed priorities" during this episode...and it's only going to get darker from here...and as for dipper's back-story...hey it's my story I'll make up whatever I want. Don't like, don't read...**

**If it ain't Baroque, don't review it. (please review)**


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